Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
