Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
