Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
