Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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