I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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