you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
