If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
