Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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