The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
