If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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