I am in a vortex of obligation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
