I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
