I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
home. puking in laundry basket.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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