guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
