i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize