i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
