So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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