At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
