Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
