she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
