so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
