i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
