Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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