I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
