he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
