so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
