She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
