We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
