Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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