Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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