as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
