Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
