The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Be still, my beating vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
