we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
