Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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