If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
