im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
