I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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