my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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