so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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