I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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