Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
