I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
