I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
