Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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