Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
