I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
