It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
