it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize