You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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