Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
