My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
