I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
