I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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