be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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