help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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