Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
