i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She told me I should be a condom model.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Houston, we have a squirter
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
