anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
